The day before yesterday I couldn’t sleep at all. I had butterflies in my stomach all night long. Thinking about getting together with my husband after 40 days of having our beautiful baby boy. I was so happy, that you could see it a mile away. Kids woke up early, Natalia which is 5 years old got ready to go to school, while I got Sebastian ready to go with me to the doctor, to check that everything was good to go. Kissed my husband goodbye, and he told me that he was praying for everything to be ok, for us to have some special loving night. I felt like it was my first time, i was even nerveuos.
Doctor said that everything was in good shape. I didn’t care and i asked the funniest question; “so can I have sex already” . The doctor laugh and told me that I was ready. Here we go again, more butterflies in my stomach. I was so happy, I even put in facebook that i was able to have sex with lovely husband again after so long.
I got home and told my husband, and he jumped of happiness. Oh my God, I never felt like this before. We love each other so much that is like a dream. And sex has always being so great. While waiting for the hours to go by to put the kids to sleep, we were kissing all the time that we seem each othe pass by, he will hug me with full of lust and love. All this feeling were building up, little by little. It was great.
Finally, kids were in bed. We didn’t even waited, we started kissing each other. Until came the moment that both were waiting for. . . I couldn’t feel anything. I felt that my heart stopped, but i didn’t wanna ruin his moment, he was enjoying it like crazy, so I faked my feelings. When over, I could not contain myself. My moment was gone, so many things were in my head; ” now what, I’m just 25 years old!! I can’t get satisfied?I can’t feel anything?I can’t tell him that!! What’s gonna happend with our love?”
I started to cry. I felt that my soul was in pain. He got worried and I said that I was in pain … he felt so bad, that he was saying that he was very sorry so many times, and while he was hugging me, i would cry even more, asking God why that was happening to me.
Today, I feel so destroyed and hopeless, that I felt like writing and sharing my pain to the world. Thank you for your time.
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